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Totally Big in Japan
This year, the entire planet will be swelling to 7 billion people. You know what that it? That"s big. I don't care what your standards are, that's a lot of people. Having a barbeque? That's a lot of people. A few friends over for a pizza painting party? That's a lot of people. Want to list all the blonde people you know silently in your head as a memory exercise? That's a lot of people.
That's one big planet. There must be some big countries out there. And that is fascinating to us. So we sent one of the smaller countries out (one we could effectively bully) to have a talk with the biggest country we could find. Who's big? Who's really big?
At One billion three hundred and six million people, we think China is the biggest, baddest country out there. But that doesn't come without problems of its own. How does it feel to know that people look at you as a big country? This is what we sent Italy out to find out. At fifty eight million people, no one could call Italy anything but petite, svelte even. In fact, Italy has a negative birth rate this year, which means more people are dying than are being born. It's a drastic weight loss plan, but an effective one for a country that has always prided itself on its rich, fatty foods and lethargic dreamy evenings.
As Italy melts away into a near-anorexic slimness, china has packed on the biomass, against all odds, despite a systematic birth program meant to limit the population growth and a diet heavy in vegetables and low-fat grains. Can it be that China is just, as we say in the calorie counting business, big boned?
Italy: Ciao, My lovely
China: Hello, yourself
Italy: I'd like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to me.
China: It's my pleasure. I see you all the time hiding behind Turkey. I wave sometimes but you never wave back.
Italy: So sorry, dear. It IS sometimes hard to see over Turkey. HE can be such an attention hound.
China: So what's this interview about?
Italy: No one told you?
China: No, they just said it was going to be one of you European countries doing the interviewing. I'm glad it's you. That Great Britian can be so stuck on himself.
Italy: well, it's sort of an issue about peer pressure.
China: Well, I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I try to stay in control, you know. It's just how I am.
Italy: Well, there are other areas where peer pressure can hurt.
China: I understand that. The other countries can be sooooo cruel sometimes.
Italy: Yes, they can. France and Germany have been playing "keep away" with my beret since the 60s. It's exhausting.
China: Waitaminute. This is about my size, isn't it.
Italy: What makes you think that?
China: I swear, sometimes it's like that's all people can think about when they look at me.
Italy: Your size?
China: They jut make these snap judgments about me, I know they do.
Italy: What kind of judgments, if you don't mind me asking.
China: It's like they just think that because I'm big I have no self control. I must eat constantly.
Italy: Really?
China: You can tell by the way they glance over the red sea at me. Like just because I'm large, I must be constantly sucking down food. The truth is that I have population policies- and they're pretty serious. Also, a lot of us Asian continental countries are large. It runs in the family.
Italy: I actually eat a great deal. And I'm trying to get my people to reproduce. We made videos.
China: Wow. I just feel like everything I do results in some kind of population explosion. It makes me so sad sometimes. The smaller countries just taunt me.
Italy: I hear Mongolia is like a little tough guy
China: He's wiry. It's that body type. And what he says- it can hurt.
Italy: it's hard, isn't it?
China: Don't you go making me cry. This isn't the Barbara Walters show.
Italy: Sorry. Just looking to pump up the ratings a little.
Here we stop for a moment as we get settled in. China is a fascinating country. We concentrate so much on the mainland population of over 1 billion people we forget to focus on the important things. The major exports- The scenic countrysides - the expansive linguistic complexity, spread across a religiously diverse populace embracing modern technology with a deep and manifest passion. If this were just about size, we would be interviewing Russia, stern, cold, unapproachable. But there is more here to be found when we talk to China.
Italy: What are you looking for now, do you think?
China: I think I want the thing we all want. I want someone- some country- that can look inside and see what I'm really about.
Italy: Someone who wants to pay attention?
China: Someone who CAN pay attention. I really though Algeria was going to be the one. A poorly populated country with a fairly low birth rate, but a rich sense of history and autonomy. I thought he could see me for what I really am- vibrant- happy, even.
Italy: And it didn"t go well
China: We promised we wouldn't talk about it. But it just wasn't meant to be.
Italy: You know, I know what you mean.
China: How would you know. Look at you- so handsome.
Italy: You think so. Really? Thank you. With my negative population growth, many people think me too small- too thin.
China: I didn't think you could be too thin.
Italy: As you say, the other countries can be so cruel. I sometimes wish they would keep their comments to themselves. Skinny. Twiggy. Chicken-chest.
China: That's one I never heard of. I'm sorry.
Italy: I know what you mean. On the inside, I am so romantic, I export coffee. I don't know if anyone knows that.
China: You see, I think that's fascinating. Of course, with this whole Starbucks thing, everyone exports coffee now.
Italy: True. I do it with such elegance though.
China: I'm sure you do. It's hard to get people to look past the exterior. They just think that being a different weight is a character flaw. We must be wrong. Different.
Italy: When you say it like that, I realize that you do understand. I never asked for negative population growth. I wanted 100 million- 200 million people.
China: And who would have thought I would ever get to a billion? It happens so slowly that it's almost hard to change. But I will change, if it will make me feel better.
Italy: I agree with that. It's pointless to change yourself for other people
China: I agree completely. It's not like they're ever going to come up to you and say-
Italy: Oh, yeah- you're perfect now- just like we wanted...
China: Exactly. Nobody says that. Nobody says you're great- you changed enough for me so I'll like you now.
Italy: I like the way you think. I That's why I decided I won't change unless it's for me.
China: I feel like we're on the same wavelength.
Italy: I know. It's been a long time since I felt that anyone was really connecting to how I felt. Like you've seen the same things I have.
China: I feel that, too
Italy: This is going to sound crazy, but Do you have a treaty with anyone right now?
China: No. I just got out of a treaty a few months ago and it's just been so hard to meet anyone real- a real country that could just talk.
Italy: Maybe we could talk about it.
China: Over coffee.
Italy: I was about to say that.
We move so fast all the time. It seems like we zoom right by each other unless there is a reason to stop. There are ways we connect and meet- ways that make us slow down and see the person inside. Sometimes it's a physical attraction- to someone we see as perfect- flawless. Sometimes it's something deeper. But when we DO stop. That's when the magic happens.
That's one big planet. There must be some big countries out there. And that is fascinating to us. So we sent one of the smaller countries out (one we could effectively bully) to have a talk with the biggest country we could find. Who's big? Who's really big?
At One billion three hundred and six million people, we think China is the biggest, baddest country out there. But that doesn't come without problems of its own. How does it feel to know that people look at you as a big country? This is what we sent Italy out to find out. At fifty eight million people, no one could call Italy anything but petite, svelte even. In fact, Italy has a negative birth rate this year, which means more people are dying than are being born. It's a drastic weight loss plan, but an effective one for a country that has always prided itself on its rich, fatty foods and lethargic dreamy evenings.
As Italy melts away into a near-anorexic slimness, china has packed on the biomass, against all odds, despite a systematic birth program meant to limit the population growth and a diet heavy in vegetables and low-fat grains. Can it be that China is just, as we say in the calorie counting business, big boned?
Italy: Ciao, My lovely
China: Hello, yourself
Italy: I'd like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to talk to me.
China: It's my pleasure. I see you all the time hiding behind Turkey. I wave sometimes but you never wave back.
Italy: So sorry, dear. It IS sometimes hard to see over Turkey. HE can be such an attention hound.
China: So what's this interview about?
Italy: No one told you?
China: No, they just said it was going to be one of you European countries doing the interviewing. I'm glad it's you. That Great Britian can be so stuck on himself.
Italy: well, it's sort of an issue about peer pressure.
China: Well, I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I try to stay in control, you know. It's just how I am.
Italy: Well, there are other areas where peer pressure can hurt.
China: I understand that. The other countries can be sooooo cruel sometimes.
Italy: Yes, they can. France and Germany have been playing "keep away" with my beret since the 60s. It's exhausting.
China: Waitaminute. This is about my size, isn't it.
Italy: What makes you think that?
China: I swear, sometimes it's like that's all people can think about when they look at me.
Italy: Your size?
China: They jut make these snap judgments about me, I know they do.
Italy: What kind of judgments, if you don't mind me asking.
China: It's like they just think that because I'm big I have no self control. I must eat constantly.
Italy: Really?
China: You can tell by the way they glance over the red sea at me. Like just because I'm large, I must be constantly sucking down food. The truth is that I have population policies- and they're pretty serious. Also, a lot of us Asian continental countries are large. It runs in the family.
Italy: I actually eat a great deal. And I'm trying to get my people to reproduce. We made videos.
China: Wow. I just feel like everything I do results in some kind of population explosion. It makes me so sad sometimes. The smaller countries just taunt me.
Italy: I hear Mongolia is like a little tough guy
China: He's wiry. It's that body type. And what he says- it can hurt.
Italy: it's hard, isn't it?
China: Don't you go making me cry. This isn't the Barbara Walters show.
Italy: Sorry. Just looking to pump up the ratings a little.
Here we stop for a moment as we get settled in. China is a fascinating country. We concentrate so much on the mainland population of over 1 billion people we forget to focus on the important things. The major exports- The scenic countrysides - the expansive linguistic complexity, spread across a religiously diverse populace embracing modern technology with a deep and manifest passion. If this were just about size, we would be interviewing Russia, stern, cold, unapproachable. But there is more here to be found when we talk to China.
Italy: What are you looking for now, do you think?
China: I think I want the thing we all want. I want someone- some country- that can look inside and see what I'm really about.
Italy: Someone who wants to pay attention?
China: Someone who CAN pay attention. I really though Algeria was going to be the one. A poorly populated country with a fairly low birth rate, but a rich sense of history and autonomy. I thought he could see me for what I really am- vibrant- happy, even.
Italy: And it didn"t go well
China: We promised we wouldn't talk about it. But it just wasn't meant to be.
Italy: You know, I know what you mean.
China: How would you know. Look at you- so handsome.
Italy: You think so. Really? Thank you. With my negative population growth, many people think me too small- too thin.
China: I didn't think you could be too thin.
Italy: As you say, the other countries can be so cruel. I sometimes wish they would keep their comments to themselves. Skinny. Twiggy. Chicken-chest.
China: That's one I never heard of. I'm sorry.
Italy: I know what you mean. On the inside, I am so romantic, I export coffee. I don't know if anyone knows that.
China: You see, I think that's fascinating. Of course, with this whole Starbucks thing, everyone exports coffee now.
Italy: True. I do it with such elegance though.
China: I'm sure you do. It's hard to get people to look past the exterior. They just think that being a different weight is a character flaw. We must be wrong. Different.
Italy: When you say it like that, I realize that you do understand. I never asked for negative population growth. I wanted 100 million- 200 million people.
China: And who would have thought I would ever get to a billion? It happens so slowly that it's almost hard to change. But I will change, if it will make me feel better.
Italy: I agree with that. It's pointless to change yourself for other people
China: I agree completely. It's not like they're ever going to come up to you and say-
Italy: Oh, yeah- you're perfect now- just like we wanted...
China: Exactly. Nobody says that. Nobody says you're great- you changed enough for me so I'll like you now.
Italy: I like the way you think. I That's why I decided I won't change unless it's for me.
China: I feel like we're on the same wavelength.
Italy: I know. It's been a long time since I felt that anyone was really connecting to how I felt. Like you've seen the same things I have.
China: I feel that, too
Italy: This is going to sound crazy, but Do you have a treaty with anyone right now?
China: No. I just got out of a treaty a few months ago and it's just been so hard to meet anyone real- a real country that could just talk.
Italy: Maybe we could talk about it.
China: Over coffee.
Italy: I was about to say that.
We move so fast all the time. It seems like we zoom right by each other unless there is a reason to stop. There are ways we connect and meet- ways that make us slow down and see the person inside. Sometimes it's a physical attraction- to someone we see as perfect- flawless. Sometimes it's something deeper. But when we DO stop. That's when the magic happens.
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