Switched-On Magazine

Every once in a while we like to put together a guide to how to talk with your adult about various issues. All of us deal with adults that can be sometimes unruly and very often serious behavior problems. I, for example, have purchased most of my adults online so, although I got amazing deals on a few of them, the quality can be wildly variable. Not all adults can be trained and not all adults will listen when you talk to them about modifying their bad behaviors. If you focus, however, you can get maximum use out of the adults you have and enjoy them fully. I like to play catch with mine. They can be slow and sometimes inflexible, but they can also have powerhouse arms and great throwing technique.

So how do we talk to adults about drugs and alcohol. Well, it"s not easy. We paid good money for our adults so we're going to make sure they're in top notch fighting shape (fighting is legal here) so, we thought we'd put together a cut and paste guide to leaving notes for your adults about drugs and alcohol.

Cut and paste guide to leaving notes for your adults:

Ok, what we're trying to do here is to create a note generator that can handle some of the things you might want to say to your adult. Obviously we can't handle every single possibility, but in many situations, we can walk away with a fully functioning note. All the notes we have here will have these pieces: A salutation- just a way to say hi, an intro- just to blow a little smoke and get the person listening, a setup- to make the problem clear, feelings section- just so they know how you feel, a solution area- just to make sure we get something to happen here, and a closing. There are literally thousands of notes possible by just putting these pieces together and pasting into a new text document. Add your own letterhead and - voila- a note customized for you.

Here we go:

Salutations

Dear Mom,

Dear Dad,

My Beloved Parents,

Mom and Dad,

Family,

Grandma,

Gramps,

Hey guys,

Excuse me, adults,

My adoring Sister,

My loving Brother,

My peeps,

Homepeople,

(I feel like we have a lot to work with there but not too much. We can always add auntie, uncle, etc. Tailor to your needs)




Intros:


You know that I have always loved and respected you,

I have always been so proud to be able to call you my parent(or fill it in)________

We've been through some wonderful times and I feel as though I can really talk to you about anything,

Ever since I was a young girl/boy, I've looked up to you as a role model and wanted to be like you

I have a great and enduring respect for you and for everything you have done for me in my life and I would never want to address you in any way that didn't take that into account

I know this has been a hard year (fill in time period) and I think you have managed to help us all through it so well for so long

No matter how difficult things are, I always know I can rely on you . You have always been my rock, my support when times are bad.

You guys know I dig on you like candy, always have, always will,

I am glad that we have this opportunity to talk, as I am always excited about talking with the adults I love the most in the world (this one goes right for both cheeks. Be careful with it)




Setups:


It seems lately, however, that you've been drinking more that I remember ever before.

I've noticed, though, that your alcohol use has been going through the roof lately

I am worried that you seem more out of it lately than I remember you ever being

Lately, it looks like you may have a real problem with drugs

I feel like I really need to talk to you about your drug and alcohol use

The amount of booze you sucked down in the last few months is nuts.

Pills, pills, pills, it seems like this item is the only constant in your life lately

I have noticed that you are under the weather a lot lately and suspect that you may be drinking heavily or doing drugs.
Feelings


I"m scared when I see you out of control so much

It makes me sad when you are too out of it to talk to or to do things with me

I can't stand to watch this anymore. I feel like you are drifting away from me and it's all because of the drugs/alcohol

I feel sometimes like I want to get high when I see you do it so much

I feel trapped when I can't talk to you about your drinking problems

Sometimes I find myself feeling less important than the booze and the drugs to you and that makes me feel so sad.

I can't believe that the loving, warm person you are would do some of the things that I see you do when you are drunk. It makes me so unhappy and I just want to die.

I feel like drugs and alcohol are destroying every bit of connection we used to have.




Solutions:


I would love it if we could find a way to talk about this and stop the abuse

If we can go together to a counselor, we might be able to get to the bottom of this thing and how it's affecting our relationship

I want so badly for you to get some help- go to rehab, whatever we need to do to get back to normal

I need to bring in some other adults that you might listen to- people you respect- so that our life can get back to a healthy place

If the drinking can't stop, I feel like I will have to find another place to be- someplace healthier for me. I will make sure that I do this legally and safely.

I want to be there for you- can we go together and get help



Closing:

I don't want to lose everything that we have, please listen. I love you, _______

I can't let this happen to our family. I have to do something. Love, __________

I will always love you. Please let's work on this. Love, ____________

I need you to talk to me by tomorrow and let me know how we can handle this.

Please do not ignore this note, I copied and pasted it from somewhere really cool (this is true).




So, if we use our copy and paste functions, we can make my note here:



Hey Guys,

You know that I have always loved and respected you, It seems lately, however, that you've been drinking more that I remember ever before. It makes me sad when you are too out of it to talk to or to do things with me. I want so badly for you to get some help- go to rehab, whatever we need to do to get back to normal. I don't want to lose everything that we have, please listen.

I love you,

_______


Nice. Simple and functional. It tugs at the heartstrings a little and lets them know that they are OUR adults and we DO care what happens to them. It's hard to watch people you love go through something hard and not help. What kind of letter would you like them to send YOU?