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Leading from somewhere...
You wake up one day and you want to go out and get a coffee or something and suddenly you realize you can"t get out of bed. Odd. You move your arms and try a little harder. Still. Stuck. You shimmy, whatever that is, and scream for help, but no one comes. Is this a horror film? Can you escape? What happens if you try and wake up?
Ok. Still not awake. That sucks. At least in those Freddie movies you can usually wake yourself up. This is just a bad scene. Aha, I see the problem.
No one said "Simon Says".
Well, that’s not working. This is the big problem when you don’t lead. Following can sometimes keep you from getting that Half-decaf grande Mocha you need so badly right now. (I actually have no idea what order you say those things in. Is it Mocha grande Half-decaf?) Leading can be hard, but it’s worth it when you’re really thirsty. Lead from the front, lead from the back, unless we’re going to go without coffee forever, we need to figure out how to do it.
So, we put together a quick guide on how to lead, in your own way. It’s called:
Lead, don’t follow, get off the pot, etc.:
We have some tips on how to lead when you have to. Leading keeps you from having to follow someone who may not be as smart as you. It also ensures you coffee. Gotta like that:
1. Have a better idea
Sometimes leading means convincing other people that you have a better way to go. You could be smart, strong, passionate, but if you don’t have a better idea, it’s hard to sell people on it. Some ex-gang members who are now leaders in their community say that they got their because they just found better ways for their friends to get the things they want- respect. If you can figure out what the people around you really want and have a better idea for them to get it, you can lead almost anywhere. No substitute for that.
2. exercise your intuition
Let’s be honest, if you’re a leader, sometimes you are going to have to make quick decisions without having too much time to think about it. You need your intuition, the thing inside that tells you what is right and what is wrong. There are a ton of exercises you can try that will help give you a stronger intuition. Strong enough to trust it when you need to make that snap decision. One exercise is called “the floating ball”. When you have to figure out if something is right or wrong, close your eyes and imagine a floating ball in the middle of space. Make the ball your favorite color. Now, ask yourself the question. If the answer is “yes”, imagine the ball going up. If it’s “no”, imagine it going down. Now, try that everytime you have to make a yes or no decision and you’ll find that your “floating ball” will get smarter and smarter for every question you ask it. Don’t taunt the floating ball.
3. Make a decision and stick to it.
There was a famous general in Vietnam who always got his troops home. When he was asked “how do you always get your people home no matter what jungle they drop you in? Is it magic? How do you do it?” He said “I just pick a direction and walk.” There is a lot to that. When you pick a direction and stick with it, you give your choice a chance to succeed. A straight line is easy for the people behind you to follow. A squiggly one- not so much.
4. Know what you’re going to do beforehand
They say that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Or when preparation runs into a truckload of opportunity. Or something like that. To be honest, you have a better chance of making a decision the right way if you already made the same decision before. Sometimes you can cheat that and make imaginary decisions for imaginary situations before they actually happen. This way, you are already educated and experienced in that decision. For example, your friend asks you to wear leg warmers. You know that leg warmers are an 80’s trend that should die, but you want to keep your friend. If you’ve already imagined what you’re going to do, you won’t have to make that decision in a vacuum. You can walk away. From legwarmers.
5. talk to yourself
If you keep a dialogue with yourself you get used to making YOUR OWN DECISIONS without having to let other people make them for you. Sometimes your own voice is the one you need in your head the most. Other people can make their own decisions, but your voice is there for you. It also helps you get comfortable with treating yourself as a friend. You want to tell your friend things and give them good advice. You are the best friend you will ever have. Talking to your friend is important. It’s not crazy. Really.
6. get used to being right alone
Sometimes, you will be the only one making YOUR decision, with everyone else making a different one. It’s hard to get used to being right by yourself, and sometimes we doubt ourselves. But when you invest and make a decision that’s right for you, you have to expect that some people won’t get it. Some days you’ll be alone at the end of the day, knowing that you made the right call, wishing a few other people did, too.
7. now get used to being right with company
Once you start getting the reputation of being a leader, you may end up with followers. People will gravitate to you and sometimes give up their right to make a decision, letting you make the call for them. It’s tempting to use your leadership to make decisions for other people that way, and for small decisions it may work great. We have to make sure we don’t get so caught up in our leadership skills that we forget to let other people run their own lives, though. Even though it’s great to have that guy turn to you and wait for you to decide.
8. trust yourself
Now that you’re talking to yourself, like yourself, making decisions for yourself, you’ve probably learned how to trust yourself. Earning your own trust is harder than earning other people’s sometimes. You know that you’ve made mistakes-sometimes big ones. Only you can forgive yourself for those, learn from them and move on. Once you learn to trust yourself completely, you will find yourself making decisions better, faster and with more authority than you did before. And trust is like a bank. Every time you make a good call for yourself that works out, you put money in the bank. For yourself. This is confusing, I know.
9. know when to take some advice
All great leaders take advice sometime. They take advice from people they trust and then they use it. Sometimes they take advice from people who disagree and then make a complicated decision that uses the advice that makes the most sense to them. This is the great thing about advice- including this whole freaking article (actually, this whole freaking website). You are free to take it, and if it doesn’t make sense for you, you are free to ignore it. You’re actually free to reprint it, too, because we’re soooooo cool like that. You could even print it out and draw on it. Advice is just data you can take and use or discard.
10. learn to like the sound of yourself saying “no”.
There are ugly words in the English language and “no” is one of them. You can lose friends with that word. You can lose respect. You can miss out on fun times and change your whole life with that word. You can also make you into something you can love with it. You can take control and be the leader in your own life with it. You can get rid of a telemarketer with it.
Most of all, you can use it to lead. Coffee not included.
Ok. Still not awake. That sucks. At least in those Freddie movies you can usually wake yourself up. This is just a bad scene. Aha, I see the problem.
No one said "Simon Says".
Well, that’s not working. This is the big problem when you don’t lead. Following can sometimes keep you from getting that Half-decaf grande Mocha you need so badly right now. (I actually have no idea what order you say those things in. Is it Mocha grande Half-decaf?) Leading can be hard, but it’s worth it when you’re really thirsty. Lead from the front, lead from the back, unless we’re going to go without coffee forever, we need to figure out how to do it.
So, we put together a quick guide on how to lead, in your own way. It’s called:
Lead, don’t follow, get off the pot, etc.:
We have some tips on how to lead when you have to. Leading keeps you from having to follow someone who may not be as smart as you. It also ensures you coffee. Gotta like that:
1. Have a better idea
Sometimes leading means convincing other people that you have a better way to go. You could be smart, strong, passionate, but if you don’t have a better idea, it’s hard to sell people on it. Some ex-gang members who are now leaders in their community say that they got their because they just found better ways for their friends to get the things they want- respect. If you can figure out what the people around you really want and have a better idea for them to get it, you can lead almost anywhere. No substitute for that.
2. exercise your intuition
Let’s be honest, if you’re a leader, sometimes you are going to have to make quick decisions without having too much time to think about it. You need your intuition, the thing inside that tells you what is right and what is wrong. There are a ton of exercises you can try that will help give you a stronger intuition. Strong enough to trust it when you need to make that snap decision. One exercise is called “the floating ball”. When you have to figure out if something is right or wrong, close your eyes and imagine a floating ball in the middle of space. Make the ball your favorite color. Now, ask yourself the question. If the answer is “yes”, imagine the ball going up. If it’s “no”, imagine it going down. Now, try that everytime you have to make a yes or no decision and you’ll find that your “floating ball” will get smarter and smarter for every question you ask it. Don’t taunt the floating ball.
3. Make a decision and stick to it.
There was a famous general in Vietnam who always got his troops home. When he was asked “how do you always get your people home no matter what jungle they drop you in? Is it magic? How do you do it?” He said “I just pick a direction and walk.” There is a lot to that. When you pick a direction and stick with it, you give your choice a chance to succeed. A straight line is easy for the people behind you to follow. A squiggly one- not so much.
4. Know what you’re going to do beforehand
They say that luck is when preparation meets opportunity. Or when preparation runs into a truckload of opportunity. Or something like that. To be honest, you have a better chance of making a decision the right way if you already made the same decision before. Sometimes you can cheat that and make imaginary decisions for imaginary situations before they actually happen. This way, you are already educated and experienced in that decision. For example, your friend asks you to wear leg warmers. You know that leg warmers are an 80’s trend that should die, but you want to keep your friend. If you’ve already imagined what you’re going to do, you won’t have to make that decision in a vacuum. You can walk away. From legwarmers.
5. talk to yourself
If you keep a dialogue with yourself you get used to making YOUR OWN DECISIONS without having to let other people make them for you. Sometimes your own voice is the one you need in your head the most. Other people can make their own decisions, but your voice is there for you. It also helps you get comfortable with treating yourself as a friend. You want to tell your friend things and give them good advice. You are the best friend you will ever have. Talking to your friend is important. It’s not crazy. Really.
6. get used to being right alone
Sometimes, you will be the only one making YOUR decision, with everyone else making a different one. It’s hard to get used to being right by yourself, and sometimes we doubt ourselves. But when you invest and make a decision that’s right for you, you have to expect that some people won’t get it. Some days you’ll be alone at the end of the day, knowing that you made the right call, wishing a few other people did, too.
7. now get used to being right with company
Once you start getting the reputation of being a leader, you may end up with followers. People will gravitate to you and sometimes give up their right to make a decision, letting you make the call for them. It’s tempting to use your leadership to make decisions for other people that way, and for small decisions it may work great. We have to make sure we don’t get so caught up in our leadership skills that we forget to let other people run their own lives, though. Even though it’s great to have that guy turn to you and wait for you to decide.
8. trust yourself
Now that you’re talking to yourself, like yourself, making decisions for yourself, you’ve probably learned how to trust yourself. Earning your own trust is harder than earning other people’s sometimes. You know that you’ve made mistakes-sometimes big ones. Only you can forgive yourself for those, learn from them and move on. Once you learn to trust yourself completely, you will find yourself making decisions better, faster and with more authority than you did before. And trust is like a bank. Every time you make a good call for yourself that works out, you put money in the bank. For yourself. This is confusing, I know.
9. know when to take some advice
All great leaders take advice sometime. They take advice from people they trust and then they use it. Sometimes they take advice from people who disagree and then make a complicated decision that uses the advice that makes the most sense to them. This is the great thing about advice- including this whole freaking article (actually, this whole freaking website). You are free to take it, and if it doesn’t make sense for you, you are free to ignore it. You’re actually free to reprint it, too, because we’re soooooo cool like that. You could even print it out and draw on it. Advice is just data you can take and use or discard.
10. learn to like the sound of yourself saying “no”.
There are ugly words in the English language and “no” is one of them. You can lose friends with that word. You can lose respect. You can miss out on fun times and change your whole life with that word. You can also make you into something you can love with it. You can take control and be the leader in your own life with it. You can get rid of a telemarketer with it.
Most of all, you can use it to lead. Coffee not included.
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