Switched-On Magazine

Have you ever tried to hang out with a friend whom your parents had never met before? Did you find yourself surrounded by the twenty-question game, ?Who is she??, ?Why have we not met her before??, ?Does she go to your school??, etc. It seems like parents like to ask a million questions in order to approve the people you hang out with or date. Parents not only want to protect you, they want to make sure that you are hanging out with the 'right? people, people who are not going to get you into trouble, or make you change as a person.

Having parents approve your friendships can be hard, they may be use to the friend that you had since you were in kindergarten, but then when you enter High School things have changed between the two of you and you become friends with different people, you parents may ask, ?What ever happened to that nice boy Tony??, and although Tony may be a nice boy, you have found new friends that you have more in common with. In order to show that your new friends are good people, bring them over to your house and have them meet your parents so they gain some trust in your new choice of friendships. If your parents have concerns after they meet them, it may be for a good reason. Parents sometimes have a good intuition and can see things that you may not right away.

Finding your parents" approval in friendship may be one thing, but when it comes to their approval of someone you are dating, it's a whole new ball game. When you finally get your parents ?ok? to date someone it can be exciting, but just wait until you inform them that you have started dating someone, those twenty-questions can quickly turn into thirty or forty. They will right away want to meet them and will probably throw a zillion questions their way, while thoroughly examining every inch of what they look like. This is probably why so many teenagers do not open up about whom they are dating to their parents, or keep it a secret. You may be scared that your parents may not like who your love interest is, and therefore may not allow you to continue to see them. Just like securing your parents approval in your friends, you need to bring your new boyfriend or girlfriend over to meet the parents. Even if your boyfriend has a mohawk and three piercings in his right ear, after a few games of scrabble with your parents they may begin to see past his appearance and begin to accept him for who he is.

Sometimes, it isn't your parents who you may have the hardest part getting the approval of. Having your friends approve of your new boyfriend or girlfriend can be even more difficult. You friends may be very opinionated about who you date, because not only does it effect you, they are also going to be hanging out together. Make sure that you don't spend too much time with this new person right away; this can make your friends jealous and begin to hate the person without even knowing them. Hang out as a group and get to know each other. If your friends have issues about your new boyfriend or girlfriend, listen to them. You wouldn't want to shut your friends out than later find out that your boyfriend or girlfriend has been lying to you, and thus you are stuck with no friends. Finding both your parents and friend's approvals can be very important to maintain a healthy relationship with everyone. Remember that your family and friends were there first and they're the ones that know you best.